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Chastity is for Lovers

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by Arleen Spenceley

In 2012, journalist Arleen Spenceley outed herself as a twenty-six-year-old virgin in aTampa Bay Times op-ed that went viral. In Chastity Is for Lovers, Spenceley expands on that piece, advocating Catholic teaching on sex and marriage with candor and humor, and without judgment.  

In her debut book, seasoned journalist and self-professed “happy virgin” Arleen Spenceley offers a mature, funny, and relatable vision of Catholic teaching on chastity for young adults. Chastity Is for Lovers provides perspective on a variety of topics—the difference between chastity and abstinence, how virginity is an affirming and valuable life choice, how the word “purity” can be harmful in ministry settings, how to date well, and why sexual self-control is the best form of marriage preparation—and gives single adults the best possible chance to find true love. She carefully avoids using language that shames readers and instead presents a view of chastity that is joyful and positive.

Features & Benefits

  • Spenceley is a staff writer at the Tampa Bay Times, was featured on NPR’s Tell Me More, and has written for both secular and religious media—Chicago Sun Times, Tampa Bay Times, the Austin American, the Florida Catholic, Ignitum Today,,, and elsewhere.
  • Spenceley’s approach is similar to Jason Evert’s successful If You Really Loved Mebut distinct in that she is both a woman and a virgin and writes in solidarity with singles.
  • Spenceley’s networking savvy and steadily growing online presence (, @ArleenSpenceley) position her as an increasingly influential figure in Catholic media. 

"God always allows U-turns no matter how many mistakes we've made. But there also a better and truly beautiful way to live one's life and avoid the pain that comes when one doesn't follow God's perfect plan for sexuality. What a powerful resource Arleen is providing for women and men in today's over sexualized culture."
Teresa Tomeo, Motivational Speaker and Bestselling Author, Syndicated Catholic Talk Show Host

"I’m so grateful—both as a father and a youth worker—for this new book by Arleen Spenceley. She is a masterful storyteller and writer, engaging the heart and the soul with every turn of the page. She doesn’t just have ‘a story to tell,’ she shares her own—with unrivaled rawness and authenticity—in a way that even the most cynical heart will be moved."
Mark Hart, Life Teen Executive Vice President, Speaker, and Author

“A frank, funny, honest, and insightful look at one of the most important topics of our generation. Arleen beautifully unpacks what chastity is (and isn't!) and provides us with practical examples on how to live it in our everyday lives.”
Bob Rice, Author of A 40-Day Spiritual Workout for Catholics

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